The Effects of the Storm-Coping with life-altering events and chronic illness support.

Effects of the storm

Understanding what you are carrying in the storm

Key definition: Life altering events are significant occurrences or experiences that have a profound impact on an individual's life, often resulting in a significant change in perspective, attitude, or circumstances profoundly.

Change touches each of us differently, shaped by our histories, personalities, and the kind of support holding us up. There’s no one perfect way that fits every storm.

Most days now I accept the reality of living with my chronic illness, I accept and adapt to my limitations. Most days, not all days.  Some days I grieve the person I was before. Some days I want to give up. I'm fed up with not having the energy for basic tasks. It's exhausting waking up after a night's sleep already feeling like I've run a marathon. Between the unpredictable flare-ups, the "invisible itch," the fatigue that knock me down, and my legs giving way, it feels like a constant fight.

Many days are hard days. I’m just being real about how much this takes out of me. But I won’t give up on healing because not all days are bad. Most days, I’m stronger than the storm. Sometimes when triggers hit, writing anything down is impossible. My panic rises just trying. My brain, overloaded from processing every expert, teacher, and story I’ve absorbed, feels too full to sort and too loud to hear what comes next.

I’m often given ideas and suggestions alongside my diagnosis-encouragement to journal, meditate, keep a food log, exercise, use affirmations or reframe my thoughts. Most of the time it is offered without any direction or instructions.  I was left on my own trying to figure out how to use these tools while battling in the storm.  So, I found ways to make them work for me and I want to share what I’ve learned with you.

Your body knows when it’s carrying too much. Sometimes it goes into overdrive—you can’t think, speak, or listen clearly anymore. Maybe you check out emotionally, watching your life from outside your body. Or stress tightens your chest, turns your stomach, clenches your jaw. Sometimes shutting down all feeling feels safer than feeling too much. Then comes the spiral - self-doubt, denial, anger, depression, acceptance. We discover grief is not just one thing. It’s a storm that moves through every layer, asking us to feel it all, piece by piece.

The stress of it all asks for energy and clarity your body just may not have right now. Pushing through can silence the signals your system is sending about what is and is not working and that only deepens the exhaustion rather than easing it. When your mind has room to breathe and reflect, writing your thoughts, sorting truth from story, or using coping skills can feel helpful. This process can gently integrate your experience, widen your perspective, and bring steadiness.

But in the middle of the storm, the same steps can feel heavy. Listen to what your body already knows. Healing isn’t about forcing reflection—it is about meeting yourself where you are. These emotions matter because they give language to pain, a way to express what once felt inexpressible. These are invitations to honor, mourn, and ultimately to find peace.

If we can calm the stress and create enough of a sense of safety and awareness to create change, your body shifts, so do your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Real healing starts there and that’s where using these skills that are waiting for you become possible. I have designed the gentle steps ahead to help you create this change at your own pace.

Remember, healing isn’t a reset, it is a pattern shift. Sometimes you may need to try a few different approaches until one feels right for you. The goal isn’t to master everything at once, but to notice what brings you steadiness, what soothes the ache, and what fits gently into your days. Even remembering one coping skill, one grounding phrase, or one small idea for the next step still matters. That’s progress in the middle of the hard.

When the storm feels too heavy to cope, start here. The questions and prompts in this blog series can help you notice what's happening, create a small sense of safety, and remind your body and mind that they can rest for a moment. No fixing, just noticing.

Things worth reminding yourself of:

• Every decision does not carry the weight of your entire future.

• Your energy deserves to go toward what matters now, not what might happen

• Ordinary action, completed today, imperfectly, still counts.

• Stop measuring time in a way that puts more pressure on you.

• Remember what once brought you wonder and notice what still brings a spark of curiosity.

• You may not be able to explain your pain, but it doesn't get to decide how you live your

life.

Coping with life altering events and chronic illness support